Storm Grant Quirky fiction that's pretty, witty, and gritty!
Home Bio Blog Contact Online Fiction Nonfiction Links My Amazon.com Store My Amazon.ca Store (Cdn)
Sucks and Blows: No greater love has a vampire than for his dentist, 4000 words, now available from Torquere Press.
It's always pun and games until somebody loses and eye tooth!
Cary was just about to jerk off again when the electronic door chime squawked the first few bars of Another One Bites the Dust.
He rushed out to the reception area. “Hello. Welcome to Drewel’s Dentistry!” He hoped he didn’t sound too anxious. And that his residual hard-on wasn’t tenting his racy black dental smock.
That the visitor was tall and handsome, with a muscular build and chiseled cheekbones did little to dampen Cary’s arousal.
“I… I thaw your brothure.” The man held out Cary’s carefully crafted (but badly printed) flyer:
Grand Opening!
Drewel’s Family Dental Clinic
~ Vampires Our Specialty ~
“You do vampireth?”
“Absolutely.” Cary grinned. He’d included the vampire reference to show he was the dentist with a sense of humor. And also to attract the Twilight age group who were ripe for expensive orthodontia.
“Hurths.” The man pointed to his upper lip, red and swollen on either side of his sexy little cupid’s bow.
“I can help you with your dental breakdown, Mr.…”
“Tharpe. Pierthe Tharpe.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Sharpe.” Cary had aced the dental-speak course in college. “May I call you Pierce?”
“Thure,” Pierce held out his hand.
“Call me Cary, then.” Cary grasped the outstretched hand, surprised at how cold and shaky Pierce felt. This guy was in bad shape. He looked like death—if death were really cute, that is.
Withdrawing his hand, Pierce shoved it deep into his jeans pocket, maybe to hide the trembling, “I haven’t eaten in dayths. Hurths too much.”
“Okay then. You’re in luck. I was about to close but I can squeeze you in. Let’s get you in the chair right away.” He led Pierce through the pristine reception area, which, he hoped, would one day sport an actual receptionist. “Climb aboard.” He gestured at the shiny new-and-not-yet-paid-for dental chair.
Pierce clambered into the chair and lay back. Cary took a moment to look at him—professionally, of course. He’d been so excited at getting his first actual patient he hadn’t really checked Pierce out.
Sprawled in a chair was a good look for the guy. He had a terrific body, nicely showcased by the tight black T-shirt and faded jeans. His lips were reddish and swollen and brought to Cary’s mind other things that made a guy’s lips red and swollen… but in a good way rather than an inflamed-gums way. Pierce was matinee-idol handsome—like something out of another era. He sported dark wavy hair worn short, contrasting with blue eyes that were a little bloodshot. And staring back at Cary.
Cary smiled, aiming for more reassuring and less predatory. His unusually high sex drive had gotten him in trouble before. Thank God this guy can’t read minds. Cary conjured up an image of what Shark Lending’s “rep,” Gill Hammerhead, would do to him if he didn’t make a payment soon. His erection melted away. Gill had threatened both foreclosure and bodily harm. Cary wasn’t a big fan of either.
Fastening the little bib behind his patient’s neck, he ordered, “Open, please.”
What the hell? The man didn’t have eyeteeth; he had stalactites!
Continued…